Fantasies

[jeanvieve]

I've been mocked for having unrealistic fantasies over the years. Even as I mock myself, I still entertain them - because my fantasies are better than other peoples. Sure, that's a value judgement. Let me share what I mean.

When I was working three part-time, horrible schedule, minimum wage, insurance-free jobs to be able to live independently, eat, go to school, buy supplies, and still play SCA and celebrate holidays? I had a fantasy that one day I'd make a six-figure income. My job was going to be awesome. They were going to let me travel the world, entertain myself, and maybe even make the world better. I didn't know what that job was going to be, but I knew that when it came along I'd take it, grab hold with both hands, and be good at it.

My choice of majors did not support this fantasy. Let me tell you about what a music teacher makes in an American school system - bupkis. So I fell in love with health care. (Again, a surprisingly under paid field.) None of the things I thought I wanted to do for a living turned out to get me anywhere near my childhood fantasies, which I kept alive.

Whenever something new or good opened up, I went for it. I tried, I applied, I threw my hat into so many rings that people wondered if I had a hundred heads. It didn't matter to me whether or not I was capable of the thing, the job - only that I was interested, that I was with good people, and most important that I'd learn something. I once turned down a good paying job (EDS) for a slightly less good paying job, because the cheaper place (IBM) was going to teach me more. Best decision ever. Go with the passions.

I believe in fantasies. I believe in the long vision, hard work, sacrifice, and occasional pain you have to go through to make your fantasies come true. I'm not sure how that will translate into me having a boat and a second home of a small cottage on an island in the South Pacific, but I know I'll get there one day. Rain on my parade is only temporary. Life is for the determined, and for the passionate.

Comments

[klwilliams.livejournal.com]

Yup, keep it up. You'll rule the world.

[unmutual.livejournal.com]

And this is why I love you!

[arwensouth.livejournal.com]

Fantasies are what make life worth living. If we were only ever allowed to think about things that had been proven to be possible, there would be no invention, no innovation, no progress. People who mock those of us who dream must live such sad, dreary little lives!

[jeanvieve.livejournal.com]

I think people forget to give themselves things to look forward to. Short term, medium term, long term. You have to be ready to adapt your medium to long term plans on a dime, but to not make plans makes no sense whatsoever! Then you're just adrift on an inner tube in stormy seas.

[silme.livejournal.com]

Hey, teachers in the US make more than teachers in the UK. Trust me, I found a country that pays teachers less. :(

But I remain hopeful... If the husband can get a job again, life will be better. But until then....

[jeanvieve.livejournal.com]

Fingers crossed for you, Ellen! Really, less? That blows! I thought we were the worst country for funding teachers.

[silme.livejournal.com]

Yes, teachers are paid less in England. I'm at the top of the salary scale here, unless I go into management -- become a deputy principal, that sort of thing. I'm still making less here than I made in Colorado in 2000. (It doesn't help that our salaries have been frozen for the past four years, but I still wouldn't be making more.)