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jeanvieveThe theatrics of cheap melodrama are all around me. I'm beginning to suspect the book Deena pressed into my hands, "Blah blah How to Publish Romance Novels" has caused ripples in the fabric of reality. There was a page in there that promises, if stereotypes, leitmotifs, and repetitive symbolism have power, that my friend will be engaged soon. Why? Because it fits.
*Girl A meets Boy A (introduced by meddling friend, who thinks if Girl A gets laid she'll get over boy X, a cameo in the novel that happens to be meddling friend's best bud)
*Girl A dates Boy A for a few months
*Boy A breaks it off with Girl A because he's not ready for marriage with her, encouraging them both to see other people.
*Boy A and Girl A continue to linger in each other's presence, becoming best friends and occasionally shagging. But really, they're not dating. Just workout buddies. And she decorates his house. And yard. And games with him. And goes over to eat dinner with his parents. And takes his mother out for tea.
*Boy A tries to date another Girl Y, and makes sure Girl A knows it cause they've got that 'honesty' thing going. Girl A is of course teary and miserable, but hey. He's honest, right?
*Girl A dates a little, but shags Boy Q, the one verboten on the list.
(Why does Boy A who dumped Girl A get a list or vote at all when he won't actually date her or make a committment? Well, who knows. Girl A buys it, which is all that matters. Important to note no shagging of Boy A and Girl A at all during this period.)
*Girl A and Boy Q hide this brief liaison from Boy A. Hint of ominous french horns. Meddling friend says hiding things is super bad juju, cause this crap always comes out. Best to be the one to come clean.
*Meddling friend is ignored as usual in such cases. No one likes a smart ass.
*Lo, it comes out. Imagine.
*Boy A tearfully storms out, melodramatic statements about deception and never trusting again.
*Girl A tearfully calls meddling friend, who comes and drags her out for margaritas, movies, and lots of unsolicited advice. Always in order when one is called out on a night one planned to sit home in jammies and footies and watch Mr & Mrs Smith again for the sex scene after they try to kill each other. Meddling friend ends up drinking most of both margaritas as a matter of course. Deserves it.
*Boy A shows up unexpectedly the next afternoon at meddling friend's house, interrupting a perfectly good nap needed after getting home at 2am and having to work that morning.
*Meddling friend does not, in fact, read him the riot act, but he has to put up with non brushed hair, teeth, and ravioli marks all over her t-shirt as proof of her slovenly habits when no one's watching.
*Meddling friend tells her point of view, having watched the whole thing. Also points out there's really only a couple things he can get mad about, but that being mad is a valid emotion. That he's just not allowed to add things on top of it to mushroom into melodramatic tirade.
*Instead he breaks down. Damn it. Meddlesome friend pays for meddling by getting dirty t shirt wet, silently contemplates starting her own afternoon show. Wonders if she can get people to throw furniture. But points out that Boy Q was an absolute snake and liar, who also hung Girl A out to dry when in fact he was as much or more at fault.
*Boy A leaves, calmer. Thinking hopefully on other unsolicited advice meddling friend forced on him in revenge for invading her nap o clock.
Crystal ball says this. Meddlesome friend told Girl A to write down, without painting or embellishment, her side of everything. Every smooch, every fib, every pain at his shagging another girl too. Come clean, absolutely, and throw herself on the mercy of the court. Boy A reads it, gets really upset. Takes some time off. Both are miserable for a time. Then they get back together in time for Season two to open with them again not dating, but probably hanging out and shagging now and again on special occasions.
But Boy A did mention he was considering asking Girl A to marry him, even though. Meddlesome friend said talk is cheap, go spend time with Girl A's kid voluntarily, just the two boys. If they can't bond, don't do it. Its dumb.
It would sell better if one of them was the heir of something, instead of just the story of the admin and the network ops guy. But she does own a couple corsets to spill out of, and he does own a lovely morning coat and waistcoat combination.
Why am I bugged? Because I came back from a lovely week of hedonism to pain and drama, and if I want to talk about a possible flicker of interest that has me distracted and interested, no one really wants to hear as they’re caught up in the story. Or planning a wedding or baby shower or depressed and wondering what to do with their lives. So I’ll just whisper it here. I had a really good time. I think someone else had fun. I wrote to find out, and I guess we’ll see. There’s plusses and minuses, things I really like as well as things I could do without. Still, its something I can’t stop thinking about. Even in the middle of playing referee. -Tweet- Everyone back to the bench.
*Girl A meets Boy A (introduced by meddling friend, who thinks if Girl A gets laid she'll get over boy X, a cameo in the novel that happens to be meddling friend's best bud)
*Girl A dates Boy A for a few months
*Boy A breaks it off with Girl A because he's not ready for marriage with her, encouraging them both to see other people.
*Boy A and Girl A continue to linger in each other's presence, becoming best friends and occasionally shagging. But really, they're not dating. Just workout buddies. And she decorates his house. And yard. And games with him. And goes over to eat dinner with his parents. And takes his mother out for tea.
*Boy A tries to date another Girl Y, and makes sure Girl A knows it cause they've got that 'honesty' thing going. Girl A is of course teary and miserable, but hey. He's honest, right?
*Girl A dates a little, but shags Boy Q, the one verboten on the list.
(Why does Boy A who dumped Girl A get a list or vote at all when he won't actually date her or make a committment? Well, who knows. Girl A buys it, which is all that matters. Important to note no shagging of Boy A and Girl A at all during this period.)
*Girl A and Boy Q hide this brief liaison from Boy A. Hint of ominous french horns. Meddling friend says hiding things is super bad juju, cause this crap always comes out. Best to be the one to come clean.
*Meddling friend is ignored as usual in such cases. No one likes a smart ass.
*Lo, it comes out. Imagine.
*Boy A tearfully storms out, melodramatic statements about deception and never trusting again.
*Girl A tearfully calls meddling friend, who comes and drags her out for margaritas, movies, and lots of unsolicited advice. Always in order when one is called out on a night one planned to sit home in jammies and footies and watch Mr & Mrs Smith again for the sex scene after they try to kill each other. Meddling friend ends up drinking most of both margaritas as a matter of course. Deserves it.
*Boy A shows up unexpectedly the next afternoon at meddling friend's house, interrupting a perfectly good nap needed after getting home at 2am and having to work that morning.
*Meddling friend does not, in fact, read him the riot act, but he has to put up with non brushed hair, teeth, and ravioli marks all over her t-shirt as proof of her slovenly habits when no one's watching.
*Meddling friend tells her point of view, having watched the whole thing. Also points out there's really only a couple things he can get mad about, but that being mad is a valid emotion. That he's just not allowed to add things on top of it to mushroom into melodramatic tirade.
*Instead he breaks down. Damn it. Meddlesome friend pays for meddling by getting dirty t shirt wet, silently contemplates starting her own afternoon show. Wonders if she can get people to throw furniture. But points out that Boy Q was an absolute snake and liar, who also hung Girl A out to dry when in fact he was as much or more at fault.
*Boy A leaves, calmer. Thinking hopefully on other unsolicited advice meddling friend forced on him in revenge for invading her nap o clock.
Crystal ball says this. Meddlesome friend told Girl A to write down, without painting or embellishment, her side of everything. Every smooch, every fib, every pain at his shagging another girl too. Come clean, absolutely, and throw herself on the mercy of the court. Boy A reads it, gets really upset. Takes some time off. Both are miserable for a time. Then they get back together in time for Season two to open with them again not dating, but probably hanging out and shagging now and again on special occasions.
But Boy A did mention he was considering asking Girl A to marry him, even though. Meddlesome friend said talk is cheap, go spend time with Girl A's kid voluntarily, just the two boys. If they can't bond, don't do it. Its dumb.
It would sell better if one of them was the heir of something, instead of just the story of the admin and the network ops guy. But she does own a couple corsets to spill out of, and he does own a lovely morning coat and waistcoat combination.
Why am I bugged? Because I came back from a lovely week of hedonism to pain and drama, and if I want to talk about a possible flicker of interest that has me distracted and interested, no one really wants to hear as they’re caught up in the story. Or planning a wedding or baby shower or depressed and wondering what to do with their lives. So I’ll just whisper it here. I had a really good time. I think someone else had fun. I wrote to find out, and I guess we’ll see. There’s plusses and minuses, things I really like as well as things I could do without. Still, its something I can’t stop thinking about. Even in the middle of playing referee. -Tweet- Everyone back to the bench.
